


Logic and Love

by Lynae



Series: dear fellow traveler [1]
Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: 999 characters in vlr by the way, Angst, M/M, Suicide, also suicide tw, because we can, hints of aoilight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 07:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15310860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynae/pseuds/Lynae
Summary: In January 2029, the devastation of the Radical-6 virus has already begun. Suicides induced by the disease are rampant, and civilization is slowly falling apart. Light confronts the fate of the crumbling world and attempts to find salvation.





	Logic and Love

**Author's Note:**

> I have never posted anything here, but I hope you enjoy? I apologize in advance.  
> CW: Suicide and a bit of blood

“It’s been three weeks since the outbreak. The epidemic has shown no signs of slowing down, despite around-the-clock efforts to develop a cure. Many crucial laboratories are now closed to the public to prevent contamination, and cities are beginning to impose quarantines...” 

Holding his coffee in one hand and a sheaf of documents in the other, Light sat at the small dining table in his apartment. He didn’t have the will to go and turn off the TV, even though he had long since grown bored of the repetitive coverage. The story had consumed the news, from updates on the cure to the more sinister and grotesque recounts of the mass suicides now occurring daily. In the back of his mind, he guiltily took solace in the fact that he couldn’t see the horrific footage playing over and over again. 

The grandfather clock struck nine in the other room. So, Light thought, that meant that Aoi had been gone for three hours already. 

Once his sister Clover had decided to work for Crash Keys full-time, he could no longer live in the small house they had shared. Most importantly, he could not possibly pay the rent on that house by himself, given how much money he didn’t exactly make as a harpist. 

However, despite that convenient excuse, he had been more than happy to move in with Aoi Kurashiki, whom he had missed dearly ever since the Second Nonary Game more than a year ago. Of course, he would never admit this to anyone, much less to Aoi. No, it had just been a simple living arrangement that placed him closer to Clover’s work. 

Tucked inside the stack of papers he held, Clover had written him a little note in braille, or at least had it sent; he doubted she had time to personally write to him, given her dangerous job. 

“Hey big bro! I’ll be going on another long mission with Alice soon. When they need you, they’ll probably call you into the headquarters, but it might take a while. I’m really sorry I couldn’t come back for Christmas, but working for Crash Keys is big stuff, you know. I miss you a lot and I hope to be back soon. Love you.” 

Light sighed. He had read this note many times, but it didn’t ease his worries. It had arrived almost two weeks ago, and no such summons from headquarters had come for his services. As if he could hide his worries in the papers, he slipped it back into the file. 

He never knew how to feel about Crash Keys, the organization for which he, Clover and Aoi all worked. While he considered the founder, Akane Kurashiki, to be a good person, he could not help but imagine that all of the complex, ambitious projects she undertook all had a hidden intent. Although he scarcely wanted to acknowledge it, Akane’s relentless devotion reminded him, unwillingly, of Gentarou Hongou. He grimaced at the thought. In part, because of the rudeness of the comparison, but also at the reminder of what that man had done to him, to Clover, to Akane and Aoi. 

The coverage had progressed to the stories of suicide. Disgusted by the screams, Light finally set down his barely touched coffee and went to turn off the TV. 

As he fumbled for the remote, he realized that the shouts and cries on the news had started to slow down and become distorted. He wondered if he hadn’t accidentally pressed some button on the remote in his search, but when he found it and turned the TV off, he realized that not just the news had changed. 

The quiet murmuring of the pigeons out on the street had turned into angry, harsh static. He put his face in his hands, overwhelmed by a sudden headache. The pressure in his head threatened to implode, and he tried to massage his forehead. He drew back, alarmed; his skin was ice-cold. 

Unbidden, almost as if invisible marionette strings pulled him along, he began to walk. He left the apartment without thinking. However, the echo of his footsteps on the concrete stairs shook him out of his revelry. He stopped.

He held the cold metal railing, stabilizing himself after his shock. With one foot in front of the other, he realized he had been walking upstairs. Although it took a great deal of mental effort, he understood what was happening, and what would surely be inevitable. The impatient marionette strings longed to guide him, almost yanking his feet up for another step. 

He tried to fight the insidious disease. He did not want to die. He could not die. He would not die. 

As he had always prized his powers of logical reasoning, he tried to conjure up reasons to take his foot off the stair and head back inside. He thought of the half-full coffee cup, which would develop a nasty stained ring if he didn’t run it under water soon. His unfinished stack of documents, which he would certainly need to read before he went back to work. The remote, which would cause Aoi to bitterly grumble if not stored into the little caddy on the coffee table. 

Aoi. Another perfect reason for Light to hold tightly and not let go. He would come home to an empty apartment for the first time in weeks. He would call out to Light, only to receive no response. Instead of tossing his jacket onto the couch like he always did, he would gingerly set it down and try not to entertain his worst fears... only to fail and scream in terror for Light.

Light shook himself mentally. Of course he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. The mere thought seemed to clear his head, and he gripped the railing forcefully. 

But the insidious voice continued to nag, and it started to sound like his own. Even if he did have all these reasons to live, what reasons were they, really? What minuscule, trivial reasons. And, in a true battle of pros and cons, wouldn’t dying seem the better option? 

First, it would clear the mind-numbing static roaring inside his head. But, also, did he truly believe that he could survive the massive tragedy unfolding across the entire world? Early reports of the devastation in smaller nations had begun to filter out into the international news: how agriculture had collapsed, creating artificial famines; how sanitary systems had deteriorated, the water polluted with rotting corpses; how the streets had become graveyards, with those coming to collect the bodies instead throwing themselves upon the pile. 

Would it really not happen here? He couldn’t dispute the chances. 

And, at last, his mind stumbled upon its destination. Crash Keys. He knew what their projects were meant to accomplish, at least in the abstract. Their actions had always been reactionary. 

Everything they had planned only meant that everything would fail. 

Logically, he should die now.

~~

Aoi walked slowly through the streets, taking extreme care to avoid the main roads just in case a suicidal car swerved into his path. He had seen it happen more than a few times last week on his way back to his apartment, and each smoking, crushed hunk of metal weighed heavily on his mind. He tried to tell Akane about the first one he saw, but she turned away, evidently so upset that he couldn’t bring himself to mention anything more about it.

For the first time, he thought living in the city really, truly sucked. Well, simply, more people living there meant more people dying there. Everyday, he saw them, people hanging off their balconies and people soaking in pools of blood and people lying beside their guns. He shuddered, remembering one particularly gruesome moment of a mother throwing her baby off a building and jumping after him. 

But, he and Akane and all of Crash Keys would stop this from ever happening. That kept him going. Through all the horror, he knew that he could do something to stop it. 

He turned onto the street where he and Light lived. He sighed and walked towards the building. But then he ran. 

“Light, no! Stop!”

Silhouetted against the midday sun, Light stood on the roof of their apartment building. He stared sightlessly at the sun as the rays pricked him, the pain pushing him closer to the edge. Slowly, he slid his feet out of his shoes. As Aoi ran, he saw them hit the ground dismally and roll into the gutter. 

If he didn’t do something now, that would be what—

He had climbed over to the other side of the railing now. His hands held the bars, but he leaned forward as if magnetically drawn to the earth. 

Aoi had screamed for some time now, begging and pleading with Light to go back onto the roof. Light had not responded. Aoi kept running, hoping that he could reach him in time, hoping that he could sweep him into his arms, hoping that he could hold him close and keep him safe. But, deep down, he knew it was inevitable. 

“Aoi... is that you?” He turned his head towards the pavement.

“Yes, it’s me, you fucking idiot! Now get down from there! Please!” 

“I suppose I will be coming down, but not in the way you hoped...” 

“Like hell you are! Just stop this, Light!”

“I’m doing what’s right, Aoi.”

Light placed his right hand over his heart. 

And released the railing with his left. 

_I loved—_

Aoi stopped cold. 

That crumbled mass of blood and clothes and limbs on the sidewalk... its name had been Light Field. 

He fell to his knees, but the jolt through his body shook nothing inside of him. He sat lifelessly on the ground, an over-sized shell containing the small, shattered pieces of himself. 

His fingers stretched out to touch Light’s cold face. Even though the stench of blood had his stomach rolling, he pulled himself closer to the body, desperate for a final loving caress across his beautiful face. He stained his fingers with bright red blood as he brushed them across his cheek, and his lips as he laid them upon Light’s own. 

That hope that had protected him flickered out. And, in the darkness inside his heart, he saw that he had been blinded. 

He cursed his sister for the first time in his life. 

“So he was just fucking disposable to you, wasn’t he?! And you... you knew it would hurt me... Do you love me at all?! Why didn’t you save him?! Why?!”

As he continued to scream, he could taste his salty tears flowing uncontrollably down his face. He screamed until his throat hurt, crying obscenities at the heavens from which he knew no salvation would come. At last, exhausted of his rage and sorrow, he put his head down on Light’s chest and quietly sobbed. 

“Saving the world isn’t worth this shit... Happiness in some other world isn’t worth this... Light...”

A car swerved.

Akane talked about this car.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't like Akane, if you can't tell, but that's for another time. 
> 
> The italics before Light hits the ground are a telepathic message sent to him by Aoi, as one can deduce that Aoi is a transmitter and Light is a receiver based on their placements in the First Nonary Game. Also, the note sent by Clover is a fake (this also gives me a bit of justification for not writing her well lol) because this takes place sometime in early 2029.


End file.
